Monday, April 18, 2011

FINISH YOUR BRUSSEL SPROUTS OR THIS HORSE GETS IT


Hey boys, come on in and make yourself at home! I made some chocolate chip cookies, and there’s a dee-licious shoo fly pie comin’ out of the oven if you can wait about twenty minutes. Tell you what, you boys stay here and watch TV. I gotta go out and put down a horse and then shoot a couple of whores who put the moves on Paw last weekend at the bingo hall. And remember, shoes off the coffee table!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

GATOR BAIT


Why, Donny, why? Why, when the Devil asked you what you’d give up for a nice cabin on a peaceful lake, all the solitude you could ask for, and cooler sideburns than Brit McKenzie and Neil Young combined, why did you have to respond with, “Oh, I don’t know…my spinal cord?”