SO WHAT CUT OF STEAK GOES BEST WITH A WEAK DOO-WOP TRIBUTE?

Let's be honest here. The cover of Attila's 1970 LP would suck even if a young snappy-mulleted Billy Joel weren't on it. Two guys dressed in outfits that would get 'em kicked out of anything but a Renaissance Faire, standing in the middle of a meat locker? No, no, guys, when I said Attila the Hun was a butcher, I didn't mean that was his job title. But when you finally realize that really IS a young snappy-mulleted pre-"Uptown Girl" Billy Joel standing there in an outfit even Jethro Tull would be embarrassed to wear, well, that just makes this cover HILARIOUS, doesn't it?

Truth is, the clues to Billy's meat-loving tendencies were always there in his later songs, if you knew where to look. Songs like "Hungry Young Man" and "New Pork Steak of Mind" from Turnstiles, "Vienna Sausage" from The Stranger, and of course, the famous line, "There's an old man standing next to meat" from his classic "Piano Man." But as for why he chose to emulate a ferocious and bloodthirsty emperor who devastated much of Asia and East Europe, that's still a mystery. Maybe he felt a connection, or maybe even a reincarnation. After all, if Attila destroyed much of Asia with swords and clubs in the 5th Century, Billy could take out most of Long Island in the 21st Century with just his car.